It is so very odd, that by being a model, people assume that you must think that you are beautiful! As of course modelling is presumably all about looks & beauty…. So people who model are therefore beautiful and therefore know they are, or why else would they model! Sounds simple!?
But to my mind that is so far from how it is……I got into modelling as I liked having my hair done! I loved having my head rubbed like a dog and loved all the funky colours I had done, that i’d never have dared to otherwise.
As a teenager & growing up I had absolutely no confidence for one reason or another …. so I never for one second considered myself worthy of a second glimpse, let alone attractive, or anywhere near anything relevant to modelling! As my modelling continued and escalated over the years on and off…..(quite accidentally) I acquired a new found self confidence and an immense passion for it. But it was never about my looks, not then, not now, not ever.
The point of me writing this was I actually wanted to explain why I don’t accept compliments and may come across like I am being dismissive!
Often people make lovely comments on my images and I am very grateful yet so genuinely shy to accept these compliments! “Bullshit” I hear you say! Outwardly and even inwardly I am a very confident person now, but compliment me and I will shake my head at you, change the subject, tell you to “shush” or “don’t be daft”. Not out of rudeness or that I am unappreciative , but because I genuinely don’t see it/or agree; plus I think how very vain and big-headed would it be if I did! It is crazy as I know I have to to say thank you because it is polite and because I am genuinely grateful…..but it feels almost false when I say it as of course I disagree, and by saying thank you I feel that is me giving the nod saying “Yes I agree I am bloody awesome, thank you “!
This makes me sound mad I’m sure…..! I do think I am a good model and I do a very good job. But I disassociate being a good model with being good looking, as I don’t think the two necessarily need to go hand in hand.
So I don’t mean this to sound like I am some super sensitive flappy shy model, because I’m not! :p But rather thank you for all your kindness and sorry I perhaps seem to brush you off, when you are being complimentary, but these are my reasons (silly as they may sound!) <3